Intelligence Quotient

I'll admit it, when I got my results for my IQ test, I was embarrassed, I couldn't believe the score, and I didn't want to tell anyone, I was embarrassed for my mother because she had always boasted about having a great IQ, and then I get my result and beat her IQ and prove her wrong about being smart, you see, I went and got 143 which is rather high and certainly doesn't seem right, but it is right! I am that clever and now I don't mind telling people because I also read that Liam Gallagher has a higher IQ than Carol Vorderman, so now it goes to show that you don't have to act intelligent to actually be a boffin. I'm happy about the score but now I've promised myself that I will never take one again, just in case the results come through, well, badly, then I would be upset and have justification for why I come across as an idiot, so I'm sticking with my 143 and that's that! but what if it goes up? well that thought has entered my head and thus I could be cheating myself out of knowing how brilliant I am, but I won't miss it if I never [realised I] actually had it, I also read that heavy drinking reduces your IQ (because your brain cells drown in beer presumably) but as I have been a heavy drinker for years and still managed a 143 result, I think I can either, carry on drinking because I've got a few IQ points to spare before I become one of the little people, or that my IQ is actually increasing with age and alcohol and pretty soon I will be the new rain man!