Holidays

Ultimately for me, the best part about going on holiday is coming home so you can brag about how much of a good time you've had abroad in the hot sun drinking all day and eyeing up some foreign bird who once smiled at you (out of pity) while you lot have been back here in old blighty getting piss wet through in the rain and slaving away all day in your sodden clothes at your piss poor excuse for a job. I think that basically sums up what people go on holiday for (well, it's why I go on holiday), then there is the fourteen million photos that they simply must show you and to make matters worse, they suddenly think that because they haven't seen you in a fortnight they think that you have been abducted by aliens, had your brain sucked out of your ear and turned into an absolute imbecile, I say this because as you flick through the pictures as fast as you can, three at a time, they talk about each picture at great length! "that's me" like I needed telling?, I can see it's you, you are right here in front of me! I've seen you in real life more times than you've seen yourself in real life, in fact I might have to doubt your judgement, "is it really you? wow, have you been away or something?" That statement really kills them, it makes them think that nobody missed them, (nobody did) they usually get in a huff about now and bugger off home and you are glad of the peace and quiet, because now you can crack open and enjoy the bottle of duty free whiskey your friend so kindly brought back for you.