Superheroes

Superheroes are what got me through my childhood, a chance of escapism, something to dream about and an unnatural affinity to tight Lycra outfits.
For me there is, and only ever will be, one superhero worth mentioning and that's got to be Superman! first of all he has everything (except an immunity to Kryptonite and the ability to look through lead) he can fly, who wouldn't want to fly? maybe some people wouldn't want to fly because they are scared of heights, this would be a valid excuse but I'd still call you a gay, then there is the x-ray vision, naturally the first place you'd go if you had this amazing power would be the ladies changing rooms and look through the wall and ogle the delights that are on show, then there is his strength, he's rock hard! (I could probably 'ave him, but that's another matter) and there is so much more but right there are three cool points that make him much better than, say, Batman, who has a belt! a belt that he made that has a little grappling hook in it and a ninja star that's shaped like a bat, and he has a butler that gets him out of trouble, he's a regular guy who prances around like he's a member of fathers for justice, he's not a superhero.
Spiderman is a kind of superhero because his genetic make up is different to a human and so he can spin webs and heal quickly, but it's not really shit your pants excitement though is it? The incredible hulk is just stupid because it's totally not real!
Supergirl, now we are talking, as amazing as Superman but unlike her Kryptonian cousin she has appeared in many a mucky dream.