Hangovers

Whoever invented hangovers must have been a sadist, I mean, what good are they? all they do is give you a constant reminder of how good last night was and now it's gone and you have to return to your boring pathetic life...but first you'll have to suffer a hangover, last night you were king of the world, and now you are stig of the dump! The hangover gremlin, doesn't even do a proper job*, sometimes I can drink enough alcohol to fill the Atlantic ocean (if somehow it had been emptied, you know what I mean) and I will somehow get home and pass out and not die choking on my own vomit and then wake up in the morning and feel as fresh as a daisy, nothing, nada, no headache, no feeling rough, no morning after shits, nowt, which then makes you question the reason you went out and got shit faced in the first place, you could have saved all your money and gone to bed after the news and woken up in a worse state than you are now, which is stupid, and then there are times when you can go out and have a couple of drinky poos, and wake up feeling like death, the hangover gremlin needs retraining in his job, unless he is doing a proper job and it's just got to the point where the gremlin looks at his clipboard, sees my name on it and thinks, 'fuck it, he'll never learn, I gave him a hangover once that made his brain dribble out of his ear and he still went out on the piss, so I'm not wasting my time on him', which is actually quite cool, I took on the gremlin and won, so if you get a hangover you don't deserve, then I'm really sorry because it's probably mine.

*Mr Gremlin is doing a great job! (please don't visit me ever again)